A Small Sign
by Fleury's Apprentice70
Summary: Karkat just wants to fall asleep after a bad run in with Terezi, but can't seem to stop himself from thinking about their current situation. He just wants to know if one day she'll accept him back. Even in the simplest of ways. Karezi.


It wasn't his fault that City Hall had fallen. It wasn't his fault that in a fit of frustration and anger that the building made of cans came crashing down when Terezi and Dave's backs were turned. Oh sure, it had been Karkat who had stormed up to the City Hall—what _town_ had a _City_ Hall anyway?—and it had been his foot that kicked it down, but it was all because of Dave in the end.

Or at least, that's what Karkat believed.

Terezi didn't see it that way though. As her face flushed with teal and shock at what just happened spread acoss her face; her burnt eyes found his and stared at him despite the lack of sight. Pain flashed in them and it was in that moment he discovered how precious this world of cans meant to her. It was as precious as her chalk or mock trials. As precious as he used to be and how—he hated to admit this—Dave was now.

"Karkat, I can't believe you! Why can't you just let me be happy for once? Just go away! I don't want to see you until you stop acting like a jealous "fuckass"!

Her words stung him as he buried himself deeper into the makeshift recuperacoon made of what the humans referred to as pillows and blankets. Her pained yet angered face and those words kept replaying through his thinkpan as he tried to just sleep.

Maybe he could sleep and never wake. Instead he could just drift among dream bubbles and horrorterrors. That was a fate that was better fit for him. It was a fate that seemed better than living a life that Terezi was angered with him. But he couldn't even close his eyes in this restlessness he seemed to find himself in.

It had to have been hours since he retreated to the comforts of his respiteblock anyway.

Karkat just wanted to forget. He wanted to forget tonight. He wanted to forget Dave and this game. He wanted to forget her—but he couldn't. He could never forget Terezi. Because she always found her way back into his thoughts. And each time she did, his pulse would quicken and his breathing would tighten.

And confusion would set in.

"You want her in all the quadrants like a desperate fool." He muttered and turned over, suffocating himself with a pillow. He refused to believe that though. No respectable troll would try to do that or could do that. Especially no future Threshecutioner. One troll for one quadrant. No exceptions.

He heard laughter down the hall and knew it was Dave and Terezi.

In the darkness that surrounded him he could almost imagine her laughing at him like she used to do before this whole fiasco. How her smirk would slowly turn into a lopsided shit eating grin that meant trouble. How her eyes would light up with a brief moment of emotion and life. How she would tilt her head back and her hair would fall as she—

"Fuck." He muttered and curled up.

He didn't deserve her.

And as he heard more laughter, and a raspy cackle, he knew even more that Dave didn't deserve her. At least, he thought he didn't.

It just didn't seem fair. He already suffered because of his blood color. Now he had to suffer losing the only one who truly accepted him? The one he wanted as a matesprit?

What did that Dave-Human do to suffer? He didn't and it wasn't _fair._

The pillow that rested under him soon flung through the air in anguish and anger. It hit something—his crabtop maybe—and it went tumbling to the floor. Something shattered but Karkat didn't care. All he was aware of was the long string of profanities that came spilling out of him as he threw more objects around him.

All of the emotions that he had been holding back as leader finally came pouring out in this brief moment with only the dark to comfort him. The dark that hid his blood all those years and the only thing that wouldn't leave him.

He shouted and cried and threw until he had nothing left inside of him and finally collapsed on what was left of the recuperacoon. He didn't know how long he was lying there, but he was sure that he was not going to be able to sleep despite the exhaustion that now filled him. He couldn't sleep not when she was with _him_ and—

"Karkat? Is that you?"

There had been no knock and he had not heard his door click open, but in the dim light that slipped through the door, he could see Terezi's figure. Her head poked in and the light revealed a look of concern across her features.

"Um… yeah."

"You alright? It sounded like you got into a fight and I—I mean, _we_ weren't sure if Gamzee had snapped again or—" She trailed off as she stumbled over her words. Karkat wasn't used to this concern from her and it seemed to be foreign to her as well.

He bristled at the backhanded remark about his moirail but let it go as he buried his face into a blanket and muttered, "Yeah I'm just fine and dandy. Just, tripped on my way back to the recuperacoon."

He could feel the feeling begin in his stomach. It knotted and fluttered in such an obnoxious way.

"And you call _me_ blind." Terezi said while ignoring the heavily laced sarcasm Karkat had put into that last statement.

"Yeah." He muttered. His heart was pounding, was he the only one who could hear it?

There was a brief moment of silence. "Are you ok?"

He attempted to say something but it became a mumble caught only by the blanket.

Why did she even care? She was angry at him. She didn't want to see him and this tantrum that he threw was in no way growing up.

His face was getting hot. Did someone turn up the temperature?

There was a longer period of silence and her heard Terezi huff. "Well if you aren't going to say anything, I guess I'll be going. Dave's waiting for me. We still have to rebuild half of City Hall thanks to you." Her tone was curt and her words clipped, all the concern from before almost seemed to him to never exist. Each one hit him sharper than the one before. Each one left more pain to mingle with the feeling he always felt surface around her.

"Night, Vantas." She said and Karkat peeked up from the blanket to see her swinging the door shut. She thought he was ignoring her because he was angry. He could never be angry at _her_ though. He went to call out to her—yell her name, holler for her to stop. Any of those would have worked. Instead though, the confusing emotions within finally erupted.

"_I love you_!"

The door stopped closing and he sat in the pile of pillows and blankets. He could feel his blood pool into his cheeks and fill his whole face with a flush heat. Surely she could smell it but nothing was said.

"Hey TZ, you coming?" They both heard Dave calling out from down the hall, but nothing was said besides a quick "Of course!" from Terezi.

Karkat stared at the form of Terezi he could still see in the doorway as she was still poised with her hand on the knob. Still silent as ever.

Had he said the wrong thing? He had, surely. She hated him and now she would hate him even more and—

"Goodnight, Karkat." She said with no indication of her having heard what he said. Before she closed the door though, he thought he could make out a bit of a smile on her shadowed features.


End file.
